You Have Been Warned

Or rather, you are about to be warned. Depending on what academic institution you attend, somebody may approach you someday and tell you about a great service called collegeboxes that will store your things for the summer at a reasonable price, then deliver them to your dorm when you move back in. Should you be approached with this offer, whatever you do, NEVER TAKE IT. It's like a game of three card monte. You can't possibly lose, right? Just find the queen! WRONG! Before you know it that dealer has taken your money and shanked you in the thigh with a filed down toothbrush. OK, I don't know how much that actually happens, but my point is this: Collegeboxes is shit.
I moved into my dorm on Sunday afternoon after getting into NY on Saturday. I picked up a set of sheets to use in my room and figured hey, whatever, collegeboxes is delivering my shit on Monday between 8:30 AM and 1 PM. I'll have a night of uncomfortable sleep, but it saves me both money and space. So I slept on a sheet with a wad of sweatshirts stuffed in a pillowcase upon which I could rest my head. REALLY not comfortable because i have no climate control in my room that I know of, so the AC is always running. Great when it's hot as balls out, not so much when you're sleeping fully clothed covered in a sheet. Anyway, Monday rolls around and motherfuckers haven't come. I woke up at 12:30 in the afternoon and it seemed somewhat odd that they hadn't come yet. Upon checking my email, I saw that they were running a couple hours late and apologized for any inconvenience. Whatever, I say, I'm not sleeping for at least 12 hours and I can just shower whenever they get here (all of my towels are in storage too). I have no roommates yet who I can offend with my odors.
Well, about two hours later, motherfuckers call me and tell me that my boxes will come at the same time tomorrow. I am pissed off. My friend Louisa and I went into storage together, so her shit is AWOL right now too. Her mom calls them to see if there's anything we can do. Her english isn't great though, so I figure that since it's my storage account, I may have better luck. Apart from telling me that "the truck couldn't make it out", I can't get an answer out of these jackasses as to why my shit isn't here. I kindly let them know how much they're fucking me and if I die of a skin borne parasite that I can't wash off that i got from sleeping on my 10$ k-mart sheet, it's their asses. They tell me they are refunding my account 10% for the inconvenience. That's 45$. Oh fucking boy. Between LuLu and I, that's 22.50 apiece! I could buy a small bottle of scotch to drink away the rage from NOT HAVING MY SHIT. Anyway, It is presently 1:20 PM on Tuesday and still no sign of them. I want to leave and buy books and guitar picks, but I have to stay in the dorm until I hear from these people. Fuck.

*An Addendum*
Here is a copy of the email I wrote these clowns.

Your alleged "service" has caused me nothing but trouble. I was fine sleeping on a sheet purchased at k-mart using a wad of sweatshirts as a pillow for the first two nights, but you have absolutely torn it for me. I will dedicate the rest of my academic year to ensuring that nobody I know ever uses your "services" again. I have been jerked around by your call centers for 3 days straight waiting for boxes that contain all the little things in my life. Bedding, towels, clothing, school books. You know, the little stuff. I have been forced to steal my roommate's towel in order to stay clean. Dirty clothes are piling up around my room because my bin is (you guessed it) with you incompetent buffoons. I have to wonder if you even bothered to store my items, or they are simply on a truck bound for New Jersey, pawned off to the lowest bidding mafioso. My wish list is as follows: 1) I want my boxes. Since I paid 450$ to have you pick up, store and deliver them, I feel like that's not asking a lot. 2) I want a 33% refund. This seems fair, as you assholes pulled off 2/3 of what I paid you to do. 3) I want everyone in your call center fired. Obviously you're paying them to do nothing given how helpful they've been. 4) Your warehouses should be burned to the ground so that you can't perpetrate this nonsense ever again. 5) Your founder should be shot. In the face. Repeatedly. I am livid and incensed at the fact that you feel like you have earned my money at all, or are still performing any kind of "service". Some day, I will look back on this with something other than blood boiling rage and have a good laugh. You know, when my things are in a real storage company, not a fucking circus sideshow where the monkeys seem to be in full control. I wish nothing but the worst upon all of you. Good day.