If The Last Legion was in fact the LAST legion, it's still debatable as to whether or not I'd fuck it

Seriously, this movie was awful. God-fucking-awful. It was a seemingly endless parade of shitty characters, predictable plot developments, and bullshit. In case you're not familiar, the last legion is supposed to be a precursor to the Excalibur legend that coincides with the fall of Rome to the Visigoths. Let's meet our cast ladies and gentlemen!
*Steadfast and headstrong commander, loyal to duty, but with much to learn about people beyond the battlefield
*Soldier that everyone thinks is a man but turns out to be a hot chick. She teaches the steadfast and headstrong commander about people beyond the battlefield. You know, with her vagina.
*Young boy thrust into a position of power which at the time he is not ready for, but through his experiences becomes the leader he is supposed to be.
*Public official, who while no good on the battlefield, proved to be an able senator. Sells his friends out to those in power out of self interest.
*Sage and mysterious old man who couldn't POSSIBLY be an incredibly thinly veiled Merlin from the King Arthur stories. That would have been far too predictable and the writers would never insult their audience like tha... oh wait. If you're angry about spoilers here, don't worry, you would have figured it out in like 5 minutes if you're actually masochistic enough to attend this movie.
*Also there are the faceless soldiers who blindly follow our steadfast and headstrong leader as well as the boy he defends. One is young, one is kind of older, and one is black. Diversity? Check.
*Let's not forget the evil power hungry warlord who is apparently a major player in the backstory of "not-merlin", but who has about 5 minutes of combined screen time in 2 hours. Also, he wears a really fucking stupid mask the entire movie that is apparently bolted to his face or something.
*Also, there is a magic sword that was forged from a meteorite. Apparently, that makes it the best sword ever, so a lot of people want it.
Basically, imagine the fellowship of the ring combined with a steaming pile of dog shit (oh wait, that was redundant), replace elijah wood with a 12 year old boy (woops, there goes my redundancy again), make the fellowship a little less gay, but somehow even more 2 dimensional, throw in a moderately ok battle scene, and you have this walloping turd of a film.
In other news, I'm leaving Colorado in 3 more days. This is 3 days too many, but being in single digits is a big plus for yours truly. Get your Michael time in while you can!