This Sunday I managed to really accomplish something that I had been unable to do for a while. No, I don't mean study for finals or prepare myself in any way or anything ludicrous like that. No, this Sunday I finally got to see The Dillinger Escape Plan in all of their math-coresque glory. Granted, there were a few other bands there. Let's discuss them, shall we?
Shat: yes, as in the past tense of "shit". These guys actually feature what I believe is a former bassist of Dillinger, but it may have been a guitarist. DEP has had so many lineup changes that only one of their guitarists has appeared on every album. Anyway, shat was shit. I think Ryan put it best in saying that they were like GWAR minus 100 IQ points and a lot more dildos. Seriously, they were strapped to like every part of the singer's body. In fact, apart from dildos and a jock strap, guy was nude. We only saw like one song of theirs, and it was funny, but I imagine an entire set from them would grow tiresome.
Genghis Tron: These guys are very respectable on their studio releases. A good combination of synth and grind. A few problems though: they had no drummer, just a drum machine, which felt a little bit like cheating to me. Also, their two keyboardists/samplers didn't really seem into the show, they just kind of wanted to do their own thing, which made their guitarist (who was into the show) seem just kind of poorly matched. Still, a decent opener.
A Life Once Lost: I've never been particularly impressed with A Life Once Lost on their studio releases. The opposite is true for their live show. Their music, while generic, was enough to get some heads banging and some pits started and they just kept up some good energy. They played just the right amount of time so that when their welcome was worn out, they were finished and we could move on to the main event...
The Dillinger Escape Plan: The more I listen to them, the more I love them. I realize that mathcore (especially DEP style) is an acquired taste, but my god, this was the SHIT. It is also worth mentioning that Greg Puciato (their singer) looks like Henry Rollins after a few doses of steroids. The man could sink a battleship using nothing but his biceps. They opened with "Panasonic Youth", and from there played a myriad of songs new and old alike including "43% burnt", "Fix Your Fucking Face", "Lurch", "Milk Lizard", "When Good Dogs Do Bad Things", and closing marvelously with "Sunshine The Werewolf". There were other songs too, but I don't remember all of them. All I know is the band never stopped moving, the playing was spot on (which, considering the energy they kept up the whole show, was a very impressive feat). Greg Puciato at one point climbed a ladder up to the ceiling and finished a song up there, he brought out a torch and breathed fire over the audience, and stage and amp diving abounded throughout. I am still on a high from that show, and it is now 3 days later. You simply have not lived until you have seen The Dillinger Escape Plan live.
I guess that's about it. I finished my finals today and am heading home early tomorrow morning. I'll be back for 10 days, then it's off to Baltimore for New Years. Get your time in while it lasts, for it is a limited commodity.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Musical Superlatives (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Put Off My Term Papers Just A Little More)
So, Allison has been doing a bunch of stuff for City Paper/Idolater over the last month about her musical superlatives of 2007. This of course got me thinking, what would mine be? Well wonder no more, good readers as I take you through the magical wonderland that is my musical preferences of the year.
Top 10 Albums of 2007
10. Untitled - KoЯn: They may have lost almost half of their original lineup, but perhaps that was the kick start the band needed to finally realize a sound that could be both experimental and yet true to their roots. A solid evolution for the band. There is actually a full review featured on this blog. Just check the tags. You'll find it.
9. Colors - Between The Buried & Me: Given that Alaska was more a step backwards for the band than anything, and Anatomy Of... was quite possibly the biggest blueballing of 2006, it's about time that BTBAM came out with something that possesses both the accessibility that they were shooting for with Alaska and the ferocity of their crowning achievement The Silent Circus. Finally, a return to form after almost 4 years of teetering on the edge.
8. Lies For The Liars - The Used: Catchy, Poppy, and juuuust the right amount of wailing from Bert McCracken without it becoming trite and cliched (well, more cliched. Emo wailing is in and of itself a cliche, but if you do it right, it sounds good and raw). The band added a little bit of a swingy element to most of the songs and gives them a distinctive danceable feel.
7. Mongrel - The Number Twelve Looks Like You: Each album from these guys gets better than its predecessor. Just the right amount of spastic without getting too repetitive, clever song titles and lyrics ("All Right, I admit it: It was a whorehouse" being my favorite) and great use of both of their vocalists.
6. Zeitgeist - Smashing Pumpkins: This album could have been really bad. No James, no D'arcy, no pumpkins right? Well, given the sound of this album, apparently you kind of only need Billy Corgan to make a Smashing Pumpkins Album. While it's not Mellon Collie... to be sure, it was nice to finally have some new SP back in my life.
5. Ire Works - The Dillinger Escape Plan: This is my last tech/prog/grind album, I swear. DEP really looked like they were headed the way of the dodo given how long this album took to come out, but it was worth the wait. This runs the gamut of "ambient white noise" to "club danceable" - to "grind your fucking face off".
4. Cex Cells - Blaqk Audio: OK, I admit it, the deliberate mis-spelling in the name is really retarded, but the music more than makes up for it. The band consists of Davey Havok and Jade Puget from AFI, but the music is more like early to mid 90's Depeche Mode if Davey Havok sung for them. I'm normally not huge on electronica, but this album blew me away.
3. The Big Dirty - Every Time I Die: No one does southern style hardcore as well as these guys, which is odd since they're from Buffalo, NY. Still though, the riffs on this album are ferocious, catchy, and always keep you guessing where they'll go next, and Keith Buckley's writing is as tongue in cheek as ever. Nothing quite matches "Hey there! Girls! I'm a cunt!" from "Bored Stiff" (off of Gutter Phenomenon, their previous release) in terms of laugh out loud hilarity upon hearing, but one of my favorite gems is "you know it gets so hard, it just gets so hard going limp in your arms". Poetry come to life, ladies and gentlemen.
2. The Marrow of a Bone - Dir En Grey: A lot of J-Rockers would probably try to have me excommunicated for this, but whatever, fuck em. I goddamn LOVED this album. Kyo goes from haunting and melodic to horrifying and screamy with incredible ease, making for a great mish-mash of different elements. The guitar work is some of the most solid I've heard from the band to date, and much like they did with Withering to Death, DEG takes the heaviness up a notch.
1. New Maps of Hell - Bad Religion: I'll be the first to admit that the members of Bad Religion could probably just record themselves pooping and I would probably lap that shit up like anti-freeze at a petting zoo, but this is really a legitimately fantastic album. Hell, it even made Allison's top 10 of '07 and she doesn't even really listen to the band. Anyway, it had been way too long since I heard anything new from Greg and the gang and I had been anticipating this the better part of a year. Blending elements from their early Suffer through Stranger Than Fiction days, deftly skipping over their Mr. Brett-less lulling middle years, and continuing on through Process of Belief and Empire Strikes First, this Album quite literally has everything that makes Bad Religion awesome, and while some tracks are slightly less awesome than others, I wouldn't say there's a bad one in the bunch. I would bear its babies then get a second job to support them through college. Definitely number 1 of '07.
As an added bonus, here are the albums that almost made the cut, but due to space constrictions, I had to leave out. Still quality albums, but maybe not top 10 quality.
*The Blackening - Machine Head
*The Last Kind Words - Devildriver
*Elect The Dead - Serj Tankian (it really killed me to have to eliminate this one)
*An Ocean Between Us - As I Lay Dying
*Rise of the Tyrant - Arch Enemy
*The Black and White Album - The Hives (I will probably catch hell from Allison for eliminating this one)
*Danza II: Electric Boogaloo - The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza
Feel free to comment with what you think your top 10 albums of '07 are. I feel like it would be fun to get a few different perspectives here (note: if you're reading through facebook, please comment on my actual blog page. Gracias!)
Top 10 Albums of 2007
10. Untitled - KoЯn: They may have lost almost half of their original lineup, but perhaps that was the kick start the band needed to finally realize a sound that could be both experimental and yet true to their roots. A solid evolution for the band. There is actually a full review featured on this blog. Just check the tags. You'll find it.
9. Colors - Between The Buried & Me: Given that Alaska was more a step backwards for the band than anything, and Anatomy Of... was quite possibly the biggest blueballing of 2006, it's about time that BTBAM came out with something that possesses both the accessibility that they were shooting for with Alaska and the ferocity of their crowning achievement The Silent Circus. Finally, a return to form after almost 4 years of teetering on the edge.
8. Lies For The Liars - The Used: Catchy, Poppy, and juuuust the right amount of wailing from Bert McCracken without it becoming trite and cliched (well, more cliched. Emo wailing is in and of itself a cliche, but if you do it right, it sounds good and raw). The band added a little bit of a swingy element to most of the songs and gives them a distinctive danceable feel.
7. Mongrel - The Number Twelve Looks Like You: Each album from these guys gets better than its predecessor. Just the right amount of spastic without getting too repetitive, clever song titles and lyrics ("All Right, I admit it: It was a whorehouse" being my favorite) and great use of both of their vocalists.
6. Zeitgeist - Smashing Pumpkins: This album could have been really bad. No James, no D'arcy, no pumpkins right? Well, given the sound of this album, apparently you kind of only need Billy Corgan to make a Smashing Pumpkins Album. While it's not Mellon Collie... to be sure, it was nice to finally have some new SP back in my life.
5. Ire Works - The Dillinger Escape Plan: This is my last tech/prog/grind album, I swear. DEP really looked like they were headed the way of the dodo given how long this album took to come out, but it was worth the wait. This runs the gamut of "ambient white noise" to "club danceable" - to "grind your fucking face off".
4. Cex Cells - Blaqk Audio: OK, I admit it, the deliberate mis-spelling in the name is really retarded, but the music more than makes up for it. The band consists of Davey Havok and Jade Puget from AFI, but the music is more like early to mid 90's Depeche Mode if Davey Havok sung for them. I'm normally not huge on electronica, but this album blew me away.
3. The Big Dirty - Every Time I Die: No one does southern style hardcore as well as these guys, which is odd since they're from Buffalo, NY. Still though, the riffs on this album are ferocious, catchy, and always keep you guessing where they'll go next, and Keith Buckley's writing is as tongue in cheek as ever. Nothing quite matches "Hey there! Girls! I'm a cunt!" from "Bored Stiff" (off of Gutter Phenomenon, their previous release) in terms of laugh out loud hilarity upon hearing, but one of my favorite gems is "you know it gets so hard, it just gets so hard going limp in your arms". Poetry come to life, ladies and gentlemen.
2. The Marrow of a Bone - Dir En Grey: A lot of J-Rockers would probably try to have me excommunicated for this, but whatever, fuck em. I goddamn LOVED this album. Kyo goes from haunting and melodic to horrifying and screamy with incredible ease, making for a great mish-mash of different elements. The guitar work is some of the most solid I've heard from the band to date, and much like they did with Withering to Death, DEG takes the heaviness up a notch.
1. New Maps of Hell - Bad Religion: I'll be the first to admit that the members of Bad Religion could probably just record themselves pooping and I would probably lap that shit up like anti-freeze at a petting zoo, but this is really a legitimately fantastic album. Hell, it even made Allison's top 10 of '07 and she doesn't even really listen to the band. Anyway, it had been way too long since I heard anything new from Greg and the gang and I had been anticipating this the better part of a year. Blending elements from their early Suffer through Stranger Than Fiction days, deftly skipping over their Mr. Brett-less lulling middle years, and continuing on through Process of Belief and Empire Strikes First, this Album quite literally has everything that makes Bad Religion awesome, and while some tracks are slightly less awesome than others, I wouldn't say there's a bad one in the bunch. I would bear its babies then get a second job to support them through college. Definitely number 1 of '07.
As an added bonus, here are the albums that almost made the cut, but due to space constrictions, I had to leave out. Still quality albums, but maybe not top 10 quality.
*The Blackening - Machine Head
*The Last Kind Words - Devildriver
*Elect The Dead - Serj Tankian (it really killed me to have to eliminate this one)
*An Ocean Between Us - As I Lay Dying
*Rise of the Tyrant - Arch Enemy
*The Black and White Album - The Hives (I will probably catch hell from Allison for eliminating this one)
*Danza II: Electric Boogaloo - The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza
Feel free to comment with what you think your top 10 albums of '07 are. I feel like it would be fun to get a few different perspectives here (note: if you're reading through facebook, please comment on my actual blog page. Gracias!)
Monday, December 10, 2007
My Apologies
So, haven't updated in like a month and a half almost. Heh heh... sorry about that. I have come back with 2 today though, so when you're done with this jewel, make sure to read the one below it, as it is new too. I would say that I've been busy with class or really stressed, or sick, or whatever, but you and I both know that's a lot of bullshit. Truth is, I just haven't really felt like writing. If you were looking for a more exciting explanation, I was in rehab for the month of November after I was caught servicing a pre-op transsexual for crystal meth. Whichever story you go with, the outcome is the same. Lo, I have return-ed (see, I put the hyphen there so that even when you're reading this, you'll hear me pronouncing that "ed" with some kind of biblical emphasis).
Anyhoo, I find that I always write best when something is sticking in my craw, and frankly I just haven't been crazily annoyed with anything enough to share it all with you. Well, no more! Hello dwindling primetime lineup!
See, I thought that this writer's strike was going to put a serious cramp into my life because there are quite a few shows that I follow rather avidly. The Office, Scrubs, Lost, Boston Legal, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives (those last two to indulge my dormant queer side. I don't do theater anymore, so I have to vent my gayness elsewhere), and most recently Heroes. That's a lot of television hours. It's a wonder I get any work done at all (that was a lie. I don't do any work.). Anyhow, imagine how distraught I was to hear that some of my shows might not even make it to Christmas because of this writer's strike. Then I managed to get caught up on all of these shows. Know how many I'm going to give a shit about now? 2. Heroes and The Office. And do you know why? they're the only shows where the writing doesn't suck balls.
See, the problem is that no writers seem to think that's OK for characters to ever be in a happy relationship, so more often than not, they resort to continual will they/won't they plots and wind up losing the audience. Certainly the case with my *ahem* less manly indulgences. The problem is that this has been going on for 3 years now (with Grey's and Housewives anyway) and quite frankly it has to stop. I've gotten to the point where I don't care who gets together with who anymore. I would rejoice the Death of over half the cast Housewives of and all but about 3 of the characters on Grey's. Lost has not had any informative plot developments since the beginning of season 2, just the writers jerking around the audience like their mysterious "monster" (which we have now learned is apparently sentient smoke or possibly a polar bear with a cigar...?) beating down Mr. Ecko.
So, writer's guild of America, I have a proposition for you. I'll support your cause to stop getting screwed by corporate fat-cats, and you guys stop treating your audience like chimps, come up with plot points that actually develop characters and make me care about them again, and for the love of god make Lost a good show again. Heroes and The Office are still OK, so changing those at all immediately removes my support. And you know how important that is. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Anyhoo, I find that I always write best when something is sticking in my craw, and frankly I just haven't been crazily annoyed with anything enough to share it all with you. Well, no more! Hello dwindling primetime lineup!
See, I thought that this writer's strike was going to put a serious cramp into my life because there are quite a few shows that I follow rather avidly. The Office, Scrubs, Lost, Boston Legal, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives (those last two to indulge my dormant queer side. I don't do theater anymore, so I have to vent my gayness elsewhere), and most recently Heroes. That's a lot of television hours. It's a wonder I get any work done at all (that was a lie. I don't do any work.). Anyhow, imagine how distraught I was to hear that some of my shows might not even make it to Christmas because of this writer's strike. Then I managed to get caught up on all of these shows. Know how many I'm going to give a shit about now? 2. Heroes and The Office. And do you know why? they're the only shows where the writing doesn't suck balls.
See, the problem is that no writers seem to think that's OK for characters to ever be in a happy relationship, so more often than not, they resort to continual will they/won't they plots and wind up losing the audience. Certainly the case with my *ahem* less manly indulgences. The problem is that this has been going on for 3 years now (with Grey's and Housewives anyway) and quite frankly it has to stop. I've gotten to the point where I don't care who gets together with who anymore. I would rejoice the Death of over half the cast Housewives of and all but about 3 of the characters on Grey's. Lost has not had any informative plot developments since the beginning of season 2, just the writers jerking around the audience like their mysterious "monster" (which we have now learned is apparently sentient smoke or possibly a polar bear with a cigar...?) beating down Mr. Ecko.
So, writer's guild of America, I have a proposition for you. I'll support your cause to stop getting screwed by corporate fat-cats, and you guys stop treating your audience like chimps, come up with plot points that actually develop characters and make me care about them again, and for the love of god make Lost a good show again. Heroes and The Office are still OK, so changing those at all immediately removes my support. And you know how important that is. Be afraid, be very afraid.
The Spike Video Game Awards had as much to do with video games as the Oscars have to do with kickboxing
So, I fell victim to a bout of work ennui last night (read "laziness") and watched a shitload of television. The block from 9:30 until about 11 had about nothing on, so I decided to watch the 2007 Video Game Awards on Spike. Oh man, that was a horrible idea. While they most certainly could have been far worse (I imagined a conglomeration of people repeatedly honoring Halo 3 and Madden NFL 2007 for every category, including best RPG) they also could have actually had a damn thing to do with video games.
The show was basically an excuse to get celebrities to parade onstage and talk about how with it they are and how much they looooove video games yeah yeah alright whoopie mazeltov. They were hosted by Sam Jackson, and while I love the man's films, being the voice of one character in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas makes you far from a sage on the subject. Nay, one might even say ignorant, as he somehow managed to mistake a Playstation controller for an Xbox while commenting on a photoshopped picture of George W and Saddam playing video games. Allow me to show you something:
This is a Playstation Controller. It is grey, a comfortable size, has pretty shapes to denote buttons, and no matter how much you want it to, it will not work with a goddamned xbox.
This is an Xbox Controller. It is larger than a baby's head, has the usual ABXY button configuration, is black, and differs most from the above in that it is NOT used with a god damn playstation.
The important thing to take away here is that, to paraphrase Dave Grohl, one of these things is not like the fucking other you ignorant twat! But the stupidity does not stop there. Also paraded onstage was Kristen Bell (as the award winner for "hottest voice actress" for her work in Assassin's Creed. She beat out no one because there were no other nominees), the guy who voiced the rat in ratatouille, some guy from Harmonix who was wearing a fedora, apparently uninformed of the fact that it is no longer 1950, Hayden goddamn Christiansen (the proof that no actual nerds were there was that he wasn't booed and egged for making what were already 2 horrible movies about a thousand times worse), and scantily clad, painted hoochies. They used the exact same stock footage (sometimes from previews that were literally over a year old) every time they announced a game, regardless of what category it was for. Almost no in-game footage was shown, so nobody even really knew what kind of games were winning, just that they had flashy previews that have been available for public viewing across the internet for years. The Orange Box got nominated so many goddamn times that I can still recite precisely what happens (Shot from team fortress two of guy using a shotgun, followed by shot of guy receding into shadows, followed by shot of turret and general carnage, switch over to Half Life 2 Episode 1 show a tower exploding, a robot pounces on a guy, and Michael throws something at the fucking screen).
My point is that gamers are nerdy enough to know players from the industry. I might actually care about Nintendo's newest game if it was presented by Shigeru Miyamoto or one of his proxies rather than some half assed Jimmy Fallon looking motherfucker. Would it be so hard to get someone from Ubisoft, or 2K Games, or even fucking Infinium Labs (nerd points to you if you got that one) rather than having Annakin Skywalker tell me the game of the year? (It was Bioshock, by the way. There is some justice in the world, as it is probably better in every way shape and form than any game I have played this year and possibly in the last couple of years.) Shallow as it may seem, I don't care about an "exclusive premiere" of some game when it's being presented by flashy celebrities. If the company cares as little as they do about this content to not handle it themselves, is it really worth watching? And if this was targeted at casual gamers, not hardcore audiences, why all the hype that this was "the most important night in gaming" (you know, fuck PAX, E3 and the like. Real Gamers watch a shitty show on Spike TV). And if it was for hardcore gamers, why the shitty celebrities instead of industry figures? Kid Rock, Tila Tequila, and Tony Hawk probably elicit less excitement in me than would a root canal.
And lastly: please, please, please, someone show Sam Jackson what an XBOX looks like.
The show was basically an excuse to get celebrities to parade onstage and talk about how with it they are and how much they looooove video games yeah yeah alright whoopie mazeltov. They were hosted by Sam Jackson, and while I love the man's films, being the voice of one character in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas makes you far from a sage on the subject. Nay, one might even say ignorant, as he somehow managed to mistake a Playstation controller for an Xbox while commenting on a photoshopped picture of George W and Saddam playing video games. Allow me to show you something:
This is a Playstation Controller. It is grey, a comfortable size, has pretty shapes to denote buttons, and no matter how much you want it to, it will not work with a goddamned xbox.
This is an Xbox Controller. It is larger than a baby's head, has the usual ABXY button configuration, is black, and differs most from the above in that it is NOT used with a god damn playstation.The important thing to take away here is that, to paraphrase Dave Grohl, one of these things is not like the fucking other you ignorant twat! But the stupidity does not stop there. Also paraded onstage was Kristen Bell (as the award winner for "hottest voice actress" for her work in Assassin's Creed. She beat out no one because there were no other nominees), the guy who voiced the rat in ratatouille, some guy from Harmonix who was wearing a fedora, apparently uninformed of the fact that it is no longer 1950, Hayden goddamn Christiansen (the proof that no actual nerds were there was that he wasn't booed and egged for making what were already 2 horrible movies about a thousand times worse), and scantily clad, painted hoochies. They used the exact same stock footage (sometimes from previews that were literally over a year old) every time they announced a game, regardless of what category it was for. Almost no in-game footage was shown, so nobody even really knew what kind of games were winning, just that they had flashy previews that have been available for public viewing across the internet for years. The Orange Box got nominated so many goddamn times that I can still recite precisely what happens (Shot from team fortress two of guy using a shotgun, followed by shot of guy receding into shadows, followed by shot of turret and general carnage, switch over to Half Life 2 Episode 1 show a tower exploding, a robot pounces on a guy, and Michael throws something at the fucking screen).
My point is that gamers are nerdy enough to know players from the industry. I might actually care about Nintendo's newest game if it was presented by Shigeru Miyamoto or one of his proxies rather than some half assed Jimmy Fallon looking motherfucker. Would it be so hard to get someone from Ubisoft, or 2K Games, or even fucking Infinium Labs (nerd points to you if you got that one) rather than having Annakin Skywalker tell me the game of the year? (It was Bioshock, by the way. There is some justice in the world, as it is probably better in every way shape and form than any game I have played this year and possibly in the last couple of years.) Shallow as it may seem, I don't care about an "exclusive premiere" of some game when it's being presented by flashy celebrities. If the company cares as little as they do about this content to not handle it themselves, is it really worth watching? And if this was targeted at casual gamers, not hardcore audiences, why all the hype that this was "the most important night in gaming" (you know, fuck PAX, E3 and the like. Real Gamers watch a shitty show on Spike TV). And if it was for hardcore gamers, why the shitty celebrities instead of industry figures? Kid Rock, Tila Tequila, and Tony Hawk probably elicit less excitement in me than would a root canal.
And lastly: please, please, please, someone show Sam Jackson what an XBOX looks like.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
In Lieu of Anything Substantial
So, I feel like I owe all 2 readers I probably have left an update of some kind, given that I haven't said shit since my diatribe on elevator etiquette (not my best work either. I'm actually considering taking it down.) The problem, of course, is that I don't seem to have anything of great substance to say, so I'm going to try a little experiment where I just start blabbing and see if I can find any diamonds in all of these turds.
It's been a fairly shitty few weeks for Allison, what with her bronchial death cough followed by the death of her grandma. Unfortunately, the trite saying seems to hold true in shitty times as well as good: "when it rains, it fucking pours." Anyway, it was a lonely weekend for the both of us, but I met her at the train station on Wednesday morning and she seems to be doing much better. Her years of Jew-Rage make her a very tough cookie I guess.
Oh, I also got to go see Bad Religion this monday last, which made up for the debacle that was this year's warped tour ("Oh god! Rain! Being an all summer outdoor show traveling around the country, we never possibly considered that we might encounter inclement weather! Planning ahead so we don't have to delay the show for over an hour then switch everything around without telling the audience won't possibly be necessary). I also got to take Megan's concert virginity with this one, and let me say what a show to do it with. Opening with "Fuck Armageddon This Is Hell", then a spectacular combination of new and old songs (including, but by no means limited to "Suffer", "Recipe For Hate", "Come Join us", "The Defense", "New Dark Ages", and my personal favorite addition, "Dearly Beloved"), closing with "Infected" and "American Jesus". I had my tickets for this show about a month and a half in advance and it was completely worth the wait.
In NYU news, I fucking loathe my comparative politics of the near and middle east class. The professor is a big British windbag who prides himself on giving crappy grades, all the while mentally jerking himself off by assigning us things he wrote himself (asshole, you goddamn wrote it, why are we the ones who are reciting it back to you? oh right, you're a pompous windbag.) I just can't seem to do well in this class (I think my grade is presently a C). I know what you're thinking, it's probably because I spend too much time killing my liver slowly and not enough studying. Then explain my A's in Russian, Russian Lit, and International Politics, asshole. Yeah, that's what I thought. The man assigns reading loads that I would consider drastic for 2 combined classes and goddammit I just can't keep up. Apparently, the field of comparative politics is not for yours truly.
I seem to have hit a block on shit to say, so I guess that I'll conclude here for now. Time to get back to my exciting and fulfilling office assistant duties.
It's been a fairly shitty few weeks for Allison, what with her bronchial death cough followed by the death of her grandma. Unfortunately, the trite saying seems to hold true in shitty times as well as good: "when it rains, it fucking pours." Anyway, it was a lonely weekend for the both of us, but I met her at the train station on Wednesday morning and she seems to be doing much better. Her years of Jew-Rage make her a very tough cookie I guess.
Oh, I also got to go see Bad Religion this monday last, which made up for the debacle that was this year's warped tour ("Oh god! Rain! Being an all summer outdoor show traveling around the country, we never possibly considered that we might encounter inclement weather! Planning ahead so we don't have to delay the show for over an hour then switch everything around without telling the audience won't possibly be necessary). I also got to take Megan's concert virginity with this one, and let me say what a show to do it with. Opening with "Fuck Armageddon This Is Hell", then a spectacular combination of new and old songs (including, but by no means limited to "Suffer", "Recipe For Hate", "Come Join us", "The Defense", "New Dark Ages", and my personal favorite addition, "Dearly Beloved"), closing with "Infected" and "American Jesus". I had my tickets for this show about a month and a half in advance and it was completely worth the wait.
In NYU news, I fucking loathe my comparative politics of the near and middle east class. The professor is a big British windbag who prides himself on giving crappy grades, all the while mentally jerking himself off by assigning us things he wrote himself (asshole, you goddamn wrote it, why are we the ones who are reciting it back to you? oh right, you're a pompous windbag.) I just can't seem to do well in this class (I think my grade is presently a C). I know what you're thinking, it's probably because I spend too much time killing my liver slowly and not enough studying. Then explain my A's in Russian, Russian Lit, and International Politics, asshole. Yeah, that's what I thought. The man assigns reading loads that I would consider drastic for 2 combined classes and goddammit I just can't keep up. Apparently, the field of comparative politics is not for yours truly.
I seem to have hit a block on shit to say, so I guess that I'll conclude here for now. Time to get back to my exciting and fulfilling office assistant duties.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
A Qualm of Sorts
Living in New York is goddamned awesome. The people at the college are a fun bunch and the ordinary denizens of this city have a certain flair that goes unrivaled in any other part of the country. Also, there are a lot of really fucking impressive buildings (probably designed by overcompensating pencil dicks, but whatever, they're nifty to look at.) The cool part is that we get to use a lot of these cool huge buildings, not just look at them. That having been said, there are a few things I need to get straight with the general NYU populace.
Most of the buildings in this area are 10+ stories. Hell, my dorm last year was 7 and is one of the smallest buildings in regular use on campus. With such large buildings, it is only natural that there would be some accompanying elevators. These are there so that people don't have to run up 10 flights of stairs every day when they have spent the whole goddamned day walking all over the fucking village. However, there are a few things that need to be made clear so that everyone can live in harmony and, more importantly, so I don't start strangling people on my way to class.
*If you are going to the 2nd or 3rd (sometimes even 4th if it's a large building) floor of any building that is over, we'll say 7 or so stories, it is simply unacceptable to use the elevators. Obviously this doesn't stand if you have a medical condition of some kind like a shattered kneecap, or if you are carrying something heavy and/or unwieldy. However, on my way to work (7th floor of the Ed building, so I'm well within my rights to take the damn elevator), without fail I am subjected to lazy assholes, obviously not hurt and even more obviously not burdened with heavy objects simply wasting my time by not manning up and fucking walking up 2 flights of stairs. I'm aware you are only costing me about 10 seconds of time total, but goddammit it's the principle of the matter here.
*In a similar vein, it is simply retarded to take the elevator if you need to go up or down a couple of floors. Laundry in my dorm is done on the 3rd floor. I can understand taking the elevator if you are taking down your clothes or taking them back, but for fuck's sake any other time, do you NEED to get on and press "4" while I'm waiting to get back to 10? I am the laziest human being alive, and I am hardly what you would call a picture of healthy living, but jesus christ, some of these assholes are making me look like a damned olympian.
*To digress from that train of thought, did you know that repeatedly pushing the door close button every time somebody gets off just makes you look like a moron? Here's why: in most of the buildings, the door close buttons are disabled you daft twats. I may be an impatient asshole when it comes to elevator etiquette, but fuck, I'm not broadcasting it to the rest of the car. You're not making it go any faster, so please, lay off the damned buttons.
I realize that this rant seems almost petty and juvenile, and while my life has never been thoroughly inconvenienced by a lack of elevator etiquette, this is still my damned blog and I will rant about whatever I goddamn well please. So nyah.
Most of the buildings in this area are 10+ stories. Hell, my dorm last year was 7 and is one of the smallest buildings in regular use on campus. With such large buildings, it is only natural that there would be some accompanying elevators. These are there so that people don't have to run up 10 flights of stairs every day when they have spent the whole goddamned day walking all over the fucking village. However, there are a few things that need to be made clear so that everyone can live in harmony and, more importantly, so I don't start strangling people on my way to class.
*If you are going to the 2nd or 3rd (sometimes even 4th if it's a large building) floor of any building that is over, we'll say 7 or so stories, it is simply unacceptable to use the elevators. Obviously this doesn't stand if you have a medical condition of some kind like a shattered kneecap, or if you are carrying something heavy and/or unwieldy. However, on my way to work (7th floor of the Ed building, so I'm well within my rights to take the damn elevator), without fail I am subjected to lazy assholes, obviously not hurt and even more obviously not burdened with heavy objects simply wasting my time by not manning up and fucking walking up 2 flights of stairs. I'm aware you are only costing me about 10 seconds of time total, but goddammit it's the principle of the matter here.
*In a similar vein, it is simply retarded to take the elevator if you need to go up or down a couple of floors. Laundry in my dorm is done on the 3rd floor. I can understand taking the elevator if you are taking down your clothes or taking them back, but for fuck's sake any other time, do you NEED to get on and press "4" while I'm waiting to get back to 10? I am the laziest human being alive, and I am hardly what you would call a picture of healthy living, but jesus christ, some of these assholes are making me look like a damned olympian.
*To digress from that train of thought, did you know that repeatedly pushing the door close button every time somebody gets off just makes you look like a moron? Here's why: in most of the buildings, the door close buttons are disabled you daft twats. I may be an impatient asshole when it comes to elevator etiquette, but fuck, I'm not broadcasting it to the rest of the car. You're not making it go any faster, so please, lay off the damned buttons.
I realize that this rant seems almost petty and juvenile, and while my life has never been thoroughly inconvenienced by a lack of elevator etiquette, this is still my damned blog and I will rant about whatever I goddamn well please. So nyah.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Big Problems and a Bigger TV
So, it's been an...interesting week to say the least. It all started on Monday night when Allison (who had been feeling a bit under the weather for like a week and a half) and I started feeling like total absolute shit. I could barely breathe, she was alternating between fever and chills, and suffice to say, 1002A looked like a fucking sick ward. So the next day rolls around neither of us go to class due to a severe case of "I feel like I've been hit by a fucking truck-itis". The next morning we both went into the health center and wound up being treated by the same doctor in adjacent rooms. The doctor tells Allison she might have mono. She tells them that she is in so much pain that she can't swallow, and after getting short of breath, the docs give her a saline IV. They let me in to see her after they put it in, which was cool because I was really worried about her. I tried to negotiate some painkillers for her because she was crying every time she swallowed, but to no avail. They gave her tylenol, an oral steroid, and an antihistamine. Anyhoo, a few days go by and the steroids start to make a difference and I'm starting to feel better and be able to, you know, breathe. We were all relatively confident that Allison didn't have mono since it has an incubation period of 1-2 months, so she would have had to contract it before she even came out to New York. She was also starting to feel significantly better. Then Friday rolls around and Allison's phone rings.
It's mono. Fuck. So that means I've probably got it now too. I went in to get some bloodwork done, got my results today, and they came back negative. That could just mean that i have it and it's lying dormant. Either that or I have the immune system of a GOD. On the plus side, this means that I can consume alcohol (you can't if you have active mono because it fucks with your liver) for a while longer, and we all know what a happy camper alcohol makes me. Unfortunately, now Allison can't partake, which means no drunk sex for like a month. Conversely, that makes me a very UNhappy camper. Oh well, shit happens right? And she's been getting slowly but surely better, so it's nice to know that my girlfriend isn't going to, you know, die of malnutrition or anything.
On to the next part of the week though (on a much lighter note). We got a new TV in the apartment. Ryan found a craig'slist ad for a 36 inch TV in good condition for 120 (which we deftly haggled down to an even 100). So on Friday we went up to 41st st. to acquire our AWESOME purchase.
Turns out that if a TV is not a flatscreen, 36 inches at the diagonal makes the whole unit weigh like 200 fucking pounds. We had come equipped with a dolly meant for about half that and one bungie cord. I think the guy who we bought it from thought we were retarded. It barely fit in the elevator doors for the building, but we finally got it down and onto the corner. Then we all realized that we lived 27 blocks downtown plus about 6 avenues over and couldn't possibly get this thing into a subway station, much less onto the car. So I ran over to 8th ave, hailed a van taxi and brought it back. The guy took a look at our TV, told us it wouldn't go because it wouldn't fit in the trunk (never mind that it would have fit across the middle seats. This guy was a fucktard.) took my 5$ for getting me over there and left.
At this point, we were fucking panicking. Moving services were going to cost like 70-150 bucks and we had about 32$ between us. As we pondered what to do, however, an escalade limo pulled up. Apparently he was there to pick someone up, but we asked him what it would cost to get us downtown. the answer? 30$. Fuck. Yes. So we got it into the spacious trunk where it just barely fit and hoofed it downtown. 1 scary ass trip on and off the elevator and through the door of the room, however, and we had THIS
Trust me, the picture does not do it justice. But seriously, it is fucking enormous. Combine that with the fact that we have the audio running to Ryan's stereo speakers (visible in picture) and can run a laptop to it so that we can watch pirated TV shows for hours in addition to the wii, Xbox 360 and PS2 we have running through it, and it's a wonder that our room didn't collapse from the sheer volume of awesome flowing throughout it. That's about it for now I suppose. I'm gonna go sit and wish that I have a genetic immunity to mono so that I don't have to go sober for a month. Have a good day.
It's mono. Fuck. So that means I've probably got it now too. I went in to get some bloodwork done, got my results today, and they came back negative. That could just mean that i have it and it's lying dormant. Either that or I have the immune system of a GOD. On the plus side, this means that I can consume alcohol (you can't if you have active mono because it fucks with your liver) for a while longer, and we all know what a happy camper alcohol makes me. Unfortunately, now Allison can't partake, which means no drunk sex for like a month. Conversely, that makes me a very UNhappy camper. Oh well, shit happens right? And she's been getting slowly but surely better, so it's nice to know that my girlfriend isn't going to, you know, die of malnutrition or anything.
On to the next part of the week though (on a much lighter note). We got a new TV in the apartment. Ryan found a craig'slist ad for a 36 inch TV in good condition for 120 (which we deftly haggled down to an even 100). So on Friday we went up to 41st st. to acquire our AWESOME purchase.
Turns out that if a TV is not a flatscreen, 36 inches at the diagonal makes the whole unit weigh like 200 fucking pounds. We had come equipped with a dolly meant for about half that and one bungie cord. I think the guy who we bought it from thought we were retarded. It barely fit in the elevator doors for the building, but we finally got it down and onto the corner. Then we all realized that we lived 27 blocks downtown plus about 6 avenues over and couldn't possibly get this thing into a subway station, much less onto the car. So I ran over to 8th ave, hailed a van taxi and brought it back. The guy took a look at our TV, told us it wouldn't go because it wouldn't fit in the trunk (never mind that it would have fit across the middle seats. This guy was a fucktard.) took my 5$ for getting me over there and left.
At this point, we were fucking panicking. Moving services were going to cost like 70-150 bucks and we had about 32$ between us. As we pondered what to do, however, an escalade limo pulled up. Apparently he was there to pick someone up, but we asked him what it would cost to get us downtown. the answer? 30$. Fuck. Yes. So we got it into the spacious trunk where it just barely fit and hoofed it downtown. 1 scary ass trip on and off the elevator and through the door of the room, however, and we had THIS
Trust me, the picture does not do it justice. But seriously, it is fucking enormous. Combine that with the fact that we have the audio running to Ryan's stereo speakers (visible in picture) and can run a laptop to it so that we can watch pirated TV shows for hours in addition to the wii, Xbox 360 and PS2 we have running through it, and it's a wonder that our room didn't collapse from the sheer volume of awesome flowing throughout it. That's about it for now I suppose. I'm gonna go sit and wish that I have a genetic immunity to mono so that I don't have to go sober for a month. Have a good day.
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